top of page
Writer's pictureJoanna Stone
Jul 163 min read

Are Men Just Malfunctioning Women? - Exploring Gender Roles


Are men malfunctioning women?


In recent years, a lot of conversations have surfaced around gender roles and expectations. One common sentiment is that men’s problem is they’re not feminine enough—they’re not caring enough, they’re not sensitive enough, they don’t cry enough, they don’t spend enough time with their kids… Right?


Wrong


Are women malfunctioning men then?


We often hear that women’s problem is that they’re not strong enough, they’re too emotional, they cry too much, they are too wary of taking risks, they don’t care about work as soon as they become mothers… Right?


Of course not.


Finding the Right Balance


Making men more feminine or women more masculine isn’t the answer. The big differences, like gender, and the smaller ones like personalities, opinions, and perspectives, are necessary for a balanced and thriving society. Especially in a world that’s facing major paradigm shifts, we’re all a bit lost, looking for answers and our place.


Still, I see a lot of support for women in the forms of groups, talks, books, and coaching. This is fantastic and much needed. But we don’t hear much about the challenges men face in this new world. And when we do, it’s often from an extreme viewpoint that wants to revert to the old days when men were in power and women took care of the kids. That’s not the solution either.


Close-up of a man and woman shaking hands
Let's shake on it - we're equal but different

The Modern Man’s Dilemma


Men are grappling with new expectations. Society now encourages them to be more in touch with their emotions, to be more involved in parenting, and to adopt traits traditionally viewed as feminine. This shift is crucial for creating more well-rounded individuals and supportive environments, but it can also be confusing and challenging for men who were raised with very different expectations.


Unfortunately, many men feel lost in this transition. The support structures that exist for women, such as empowerment groups and coaching, are not as prevalent for men. When men do seek help, they often encounter the idea that they need to revert to outdated norms of masculinity to find their place.


In My Practice


In my coaching practice, I’ve never focused on one gender. I work with an equal number of women and men and love the unique challenges each person brings. As a woman, I’m thrilled to see women feeling more empowered in today’s world. I embrace the ‘girl power!’ movement and stand with my girlfriends in unity. But I also recognise that this isn’t the whole picture.


At times, I feel conflicted. I have two children, a girl and a boy, and I want equal opportunities, equal understanding, and equal value for both of them, with all their differences. I worry that if we swing the pendulum too far to one side, the other side will get left behind.


The Solution


So, what’s the solution? It’s about finding a balance. It’s about recognising and valuing the inherent differences between men and women, and understanding that these differences don’t make one gender better or worse than the other. We need to create support systems for everyone, regardless of gender.


We can start by:


  1. Encouraging Emotional Expression: Both men and women should feel comfortable expressing their emotions. This starts with creating environments where vulnerability is seen as a strength, not a weakness.

  2. Promoting Equal Parenting: Encourage both parents to take active roles in childcare. This not only benefits the children but also strengthens family bonds and creates more balanced households.

  3. Valuing Diverse Perspectives: Different perspectives enrich our lives and our work. Encourage diversity of thought and experience in all areas of life.

  4. Providing Support for Men: Just as there are numerous resources for women, we need to develop more support structures for men. This includes groups, talks, books, and coaching specifically aimed at addressing the unique challenges men face today.

  5. Celebrating Individuality: Instead of trying to fit everyone into a specific mold, celebrate individual differences. This includes recognising and appreciating the unique strengths that both men and women bring to the table.


Conclusion


In conclusion, making men more feminine or women more masculine isn’t the solution. The big differences, like gender, and the smaller ones like personalities, opinions, and perspectives, are necessary for a balanced and thriving society. We must strive to create a world where everyone feels valued for who they are and knows they’re needed. By doing our part to lift each other up, we can navigate these paradigm shifts together and create a more inclusive and supportive world for all.


So, let’s make sure everyone feels valued for who they are and knows they’re needed. We can all do our part to lift each other up!


If this topic is interesting for you I recommend this talk with Richard Reeves on Diary of a CEO




コメント

bottom of page