Have you ever found yourself in a place where the simplest action feels like a big ask?
On my recent trip to New York, I found myself in a Bagel Pub one morning. I had to try those famous bagels everyone raves about, so I went in. The choices were endless—cream cheese with salmon, cream cheese with herbs, cream cheese with who-knows-what! As I stood there, trying to figure out how it all worked—the flavours, the combinations—I finally stepped up to order.
“Hi, how are ya? What would you like today?”
“Uh, a bagel, please?”
“What do you want in it?”
“Cream cheese with salmon?”
“Which kind of salmon? We have smoked, lox, or gravlax. Do you want that with scallion cream cheese or plain? Do you want capers, onions, or tomatoes on that? Which bagel?”
“Wait, what?”
At this point, I was lost. I had no idea which option was which, or why I had to choose between ten different kinds of salmon. I could feel my frustration rising. So could the guy behind the counter, who was now tapping his fingers impatiently. And the queue of people behind me.
It’s just a bagel, for God’s sake! Why is this so complicated?
We’re both speaking English, aren’t we?
And please, hurry up—this is New York!
Sound familiar?
Even if you haven’t been to New York—or if New York is your home turf and you’re as impatient as the bagel guy—you probably know this feeling. Whenever you step into a new environment, with its own standards, processes, habits, culture, and inner language (even if it’s still English) it can feel overwhelming. What does it do to your communication skills? Your peace of mind?
Later on at the workshop, I asked, “Who here is NOT from New York?”
Almost everyone raised their hand. They could all recall that initial excitement, followed by the sharp contrast between what they were used to and what they were newly exposed to.
When different cultures meet, tension, misunderstandings, and impatience are inevitable. But being aware of this creates a bit more room for the two cultures to align. To understand each other. To be clear. To adjust. To be explicit, direct, and detailed—because individuals aren’t expected to have knowledge of each other's histories or backgrounds, and communication isn’t automatically shaped by long-standing relationships.
Most importantly, it creates space to be patient—with yourself and with others.
Why This Matters in Business: Mergers and Vendor Relationships
The story of my bagel encounter is more than just a humorous experience—it’s a metaphor for what happens when two different cultures collide, especially in a business setting. The same confusion, frustration, and miscommunication that I faced in the Bagel Pub can occur when companies come together during a merger, or when a company starts working with a new vendor.
Need for alignment
In both scenarios, two distinct worlds, with their own ways of operating, communicating, and making decisions, suddenly need to align. And just like ordering a bagel, things that seem simple and straightforward to one side can feel confusing and overwhelming to the other.
Take a merger, for example. A company that’s used to a more relaxed, collaborative decision-making process might suddenly find itself merging with a fast-paced, hierarchical organisation where speed is prized above all else. The cultural clash can lead to frustration on both sides. Employees may feel lost, unsure of how to navigate the new processes or how to communicate effectively. Misunderstandings and delays can arise, and before you know it, tensions escalate.
Similarly, when a company starts working with a new vendor, they may encounter different standards, expectations, and even communication styles. What was once second nature within the company now feels foreign. The vendor might assume the company understands their internal jargon and processes, but in reality, the company is left playing catch-up. Without clear, direct communication and a willingness to adjust, the relationship can sour quickly.
Assume nothing. Clarify everything. Be patient.
It’s important to remember that the key to overcoming these challenges lies in being explicit and transparent. Assume nothing. Clarify everything. Be patient with the learning curve, and allow time for both sides to align. Building trust requires understanding, patience, and a bit of trial and error.
In the end successful partnerships and mergers come together—if both sides are willing to invest the time and effort to understand each other.
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